In fact, it belongs in only one specific kind of relationship and going in only one direction.Īnd that is parent TO child not in reverse. So where, then, does unconditional love belong? You will receive whatever you are willing to accept. If you have no bottom line in your relationship, chances are you will sadly find yourself living at the bottom line.
Conditional love is meaningful because it’s earned, treasured and protected by both parties. Unearned love (except the parental kind) is not real, it is not strong, and it is not resilient. When it comes to romantic relationships and marriage, we all must earn the love we receive. Because the husband has no bottom line to what he will accept: no limit to what he will tolerate, and his wife knows it. This dysfunctional, painful relationship can go on forever, unchecked. What incentive does she have to stop hurting him? Actually, none. Imagine a husband who continues to love his wife even though she is a serial cheater, and hurts him over and over and over and over. And second, because even if a person could achieve it for his or her spouse, it would be unhealthy for both parties and for the relationship itself. First, because it’s impossible for most people. Why can’t we expect it from our husband or wife? Two reasons. Beauregard concluded that unconditional love is actually a separate emotion, unique and different from romantic love.īeauregard’s study provides neurological evidence for something that is known by couples’ therapists everywhere: unconditional love has no place in a marriage. He found that unconditional love involves seven separate areas of the brain and that it is different from the brain activity seen in romantic or sexual love. In 2009, a neuroscientist named Beauregard used MRI’s to look at the areas of the brain that are activated in unconditional love compared to romantic love. We long for it, but we can’t seem to find it. Is it a matter of finding the right person or doing the right thing? Can only people who are emotionally mature provide it? Is it required for a strong relationship or marriage?īelieve it or not, all of these questions have answers, and they are fairly simple and straightforward. It almost seems to be a need that is biologically built into the human condition. Is unconditional love real? Is it attainable? Is it the foundation of a successful marriage? Is it a natural human need? Love that asks for nothing in return, and never ceases, no matter what. Unconditional love is the kind that endures despite any problem, injury, conflict or issue that may arise. Who doesn’t want unconditional love? What is Unconditional Love? Friends call upon it to restore broken friendships. Wives wistfully long for it from their husbands. You don’t expect trees to change, you love them as they are.” “Accept the children the way we accept trees-with gratitude because they are a blessing-but do not have expectations or desires.
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